Sound Familiar?
I know how disorienting and relentless injury can feel. I have been on the same rollercoaster you’re on now. The frustration. The anger. The impatience. Feeling like you're trapped in a broken body.
I don't know who I am anymore
I miss my friends and teammates
I don’t want to ask for help
I’m frustrated by how slow my recovery feels
After 200+ interviews with injured athletes and the clinicians who care for them, I uncovered common struggles and how to navigate them.
This page explores the most common challenges injured athletes face and offers insight, perspective, and practical exercises you can begin using right away.
Overcoming Injury, the online course I co-created with Ashley Kuchar, dives deeper into each of the challenges outlined below and offers structured guidance and meaningful support along the way.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
I’m angry.
I’m jealous of my friends and teammates.
I miss my friends and teammates.
I don't want to ask for help. I don't want to be a burden.
What if I can't return to my sport?
I rely on my sport to manage stress.
I’m frustrated by how long this is taking.
I don't know who I am anymore.
You identify yourself and foremost first as an athlete. At gatherings you introduce yourself as the triathlete, the Ironman, the mountain bike racer, the marathon runner, or the ski racer. It’s not as satisfying to introduce yourself as “a creative, intuitive dude who enjoys painting and sipping wine with my friends.” What street cred does that hold? There isn’t anything tough-sounding or awe-inspiring about that.
Your life centers on daily training, nutrition, and taking care of yourself. You are constantly looking forward, with anticipation, to achieving your next PR, clearing some incredibly technical section of trail, climbing the next 14er mountain on the list or relishing the next perfect powder day. You consider yourself strong, healthy and resilient.
Then, out of the blue, you are blindsided–injury comes knocking. Instantly, your life falls apart. You hear a loud snap, something has gone drastically wrong. Along comes denial and you convince yourself it isn’t that bad. But then reality strikes and you realize…you are hurt.
You wake up the next morning in pain and any semblance of your routine is shattered. No running shoes. No bike. No sunshine and cool breeze on your face. No skis. No trail beneath you. No friends to laugh with or train with. You think, “What next? What am I going to do now?”
What's happening? Read insights
First and foremost, you aren’t worthless. You are enough. Today. Right now. Your purpose and calling are much greater than the sum of all of your athletic accomplishments.
Your worth is not dependent on your performance. It’s not dependent on your status as an athlete. It’s not dependent on the number of hours you work out. Those are things you do. They are not who you are.
Your worth and value is inherent. You just have it.
Think about what worth is to you. Maybe you don’t look inside for worth. Perhaps you look only as far as your last workout or race result. Your accomplishments aren’t the sum total of your identity; they are just one small part.
As long as you look outside yourself for worth and approval, your worthiness cup will empty, draining through a hole in the bottom just as fast as you can fill it with results and accomplishments.
You have many innate–and maybe long-forgotten–gifts outside your athletic aptitude and accolades. Think resilience, focus, mental strength, ability to stick to a plan, intellect, grit, creativity, compassion, etc. You may find it’s much easier to celebrate tangible results and victories than to honor your innate gifts (nobody is going to high five you for painting a beautiful flower); however, these gifts are no less worthy than your accomplishments.
Dirty little secret: Your innate gifts are the precise tools you need to make it through the maze of injury. Your qualitative worth far outweighs quantifiable accomplishments.
One of the many gifts of injury is its power to transform us. Exercising your innate gifts will strengthen your resilience now and for any life challenge you face.
Recovery isn’t something you do; it’s something you become.
Now what? Read practical exercises
Practical exercises
- Find something to engage in that’s bigger than you. Consider volunteer work. Many local nonprofits offer opportunities you can do from home. If you love animals, shelters are often looking for volunteers to spend time sitting with and comforting animals. Even small acts of service can restore a sense of purpose and identity.
- Keep another part of your life open and active. Cultivate a hobby, nurture friendships outside your sport, or explore something creative. Expanding your world, even slightly, can help you feel more whole while you recover.
- Write. Journal. Don’t worry about how it sounds. Give your thoughts somewhere to land so they’re not gaining momentum and toxicity in your head.
- Redefine your personal mission. Focus on exploring, learning, and building mental strength while your body heals.
- Reach out to others navigating difficult times. Offering support can be as healing for you as it is for them.
- Make a list of activities you’ve been missing out on because of your athletic commitments. Maybe a festival that has always conflicted with your favorite race. Maybe a weeknight concert that was incompatible with your 5:30 morning swim practice. Maybe enjoy the simple pleasure of sleeping in. Reclaiming these moments reminds you there’s more to life than just training.
I’m angry.
Just like that, the routines, teammates and friends, workouts, and competition that structured your life are gone. You’re left wondering what your life will look like.
Anger creeps in. You get angry and resentful that your body has betrayed you.
The moment you feel even slightly better, you jump back in the pool because you’re a fighter. The word quit isn’t in your vocabulary.
But by the time you climb out, your shoulder aches more than before, and the anger deepens.
Maybe you can participate, but not compete the way you used to. Maybe you can’t keep up with your friends. Maybe you can’t even lace up your shoes. You can’t do what you love.
So you push harder. You work tirelessly to reclaim the life you had. Yet the more you force it, the farther away it seems. Frustration meets you at every turn, which only breeds more anger.
Maybe you identify more with sadness than anger. You feel flat, unmotivated, untethered from the life that once energized you.
What's happening? Read insights
Anger and sadness are often opposite sides of the same coin, one loud and fiery, the other quiet and heavy. Both are rooted in loss.
What looks like anger or sadness on the surface is often something more layered and nuanced underneath. It’s easier to feel anger or sadness than it is to feel the vulnerability and overwhelm of grief, fear, shame, helplessness, and disappointment.
Anger and sadness can be a shield–and sometimes a shield we need. Anger mobilizes you, gives you energy, makes you feel powerful instead of powerless. Sadness does the opposite. It slows everything down, turns you inward, and exposes the ache.
Anger and sadness help you metabolize injury’s upheaval. Both deserve curiosity and attention, not suppression.
Now what? Read practical exercises
Practical exercises
- Try using “parts” language. Instead of saying, “I’m angry,” or “I’m sad,” experiment with, “A part of me is angry,” or “A part of me feels sad.” It’s a small shift in language, but it can create a meaningful shift mentally.
- This language reminds you that you aren’t your emotions. Parts language creates mental space so you can work with your feelings instead of being overwhelmed by them.
- You may notice there’s a part of you that’s afraid, another part that’s grateful for your support system, and yet another part that’s angry, all at the same time. That’s normal. All of those parts are real. All of them are valid.
- Name It To Tame It. Use a feelings wheel to identify what’s beneath the surface of anger or sadness. For some athletes, labeling emotions takes the edge off. For others, it makes emotions stronger at first. Both responses are normal and part of building awareness.
The How We Feel app is an excellent resource for understanding emotions and building a habit of checking in. Go to https://howwefeel.org/ to learn more.
I’m jealous of my friends and teammates.
You can’t ride. You can’t run. You can’t go to practice. Racing and competing are off the table.
Most of your friends are athletes, so every conversation seems to circle back to the sport you love. The one you can’t do right now. Social media doesn’t help. It’s a steady stream of workouts, race photos, finish lines, and PRs. Meanwhile, you feel like you’re training for the Sitting Olympics.
At first, you brush it off. Then the stories start to sting. You can’t join in, and your last victory feels like ancient history. That’s when resentment and jealousy creep in. You can’t work out or compete, and you definitely don’t want to hear about everyone else who can.
What's happening? Read insights
This one is tough. You might feel like deactivating your social media and curling up on the couch in flannel pajamas. And honestly, some nights that’s okay.
Jealousy is unprocessed grief. It's perfectly healthy and normal to grieve the loss of your life as you knew it.
But if you’re physically able, challenge yourself to go out. Each conversation makes the next one a little easier. Over time, what once felt unbearable becomes manageable. The only way out is through.
Remember, what you focus on grows. If you pour your energy into jealousy into feeling jealous, you are only going to feel more jealous. But when you direct that energy toward creativity, injury-friendly movement, or serving others, jealousy’s grip will fade.
You may even discover you’re in a position of teaching your friends a thing or two about patience and grace.
Now what? Read practical exercises
Practical exercises
- If you find yourself stuck in jealousy, it may be time to get some professional help. Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapies are especially powerful for injured athletes. You can search for EMDR therapists here and IFS therapists here.
- Schedule a fun outing or gathering with friends, teammates, or family, and make sure it has nothing to do with your sport. You can even make a rule that no injury talk is allowed.
Practice creativity! More on that in my blog and in the “I rely on my sport to manage stress” section on this page.
I miss my friends and teammates.
Since so much of your life revolves around training and competing, your social circle is built around like-minded athletes. Close, meaningful bonds form on long runs, rides, ski days, and hikes.
Your training buddies and teammates see your struggles, celebrate your victories, and witness the rough edges of your personality that emerge when you’re grinding away. These are deep, genuine connections with people who truly know you.
Injury disrupts these connections. The laughter, camaraderie, and shared experiences disappear, leaving a void. You might even make choices that aren’t in your best interest just to reconnect.
Connection is a fundamental human need. Without it, we can’t fully thrive, grow, or feel seen, heard, and understood.
One of the gifts of injury is your opportunity to strengthen and rebuild the social pillar of your life. Inevitably, athletic commitments means [unintentionally] neglecting some of your relationships. Now is the perfect time to reconnect.
One of the first and most important steps in recovery is building a strong support network. The right people help counter isolation, offer emotional and practical support, and strengthen your resilience. When you surround yourself with steady, supportive relationships, your injury recovery will feel less overwhelming and far more manageable.
Heads up: People often avoid what they fear, and, for athletes, few things are scarier than injury. You might notice some friends drifting away, checking in less, or not showing up as much. That’s normal. Sometimes athlete-friends can be among the least supportive friends because they struggle to step into something they fear. Don’t take it personally.
Another heads up: Society struggles with anything chronic. Attention spans are short. You may get a lot of support in the first few weeks, but over time it can fade, and on occasion turn into, “Wait, what? You’re still hurt?” Expect this pattern and work with it as best you can. Most importantly, when a friend gets injured, be the one who stays and offers help long after everyone else has moved on.
Practical exercises
- Acknowledge the Isolation. Injury can lead to social isolation from teammates, coaches, and friends. Recognizing this is the first step to staying connected.
- Pick up the phone and call friends you haven’t talked to in a while. Maybe you’ll feel awkward explaining why you’ve lost touch. And you’ll have to talk about your injury. Don’t worry; honesty begets closer relationships.
- Plan a movie night, game night, coffee date, or dinner with your people. You can even make a rule that no injury talk is allowed.
- Write letters to those who have supported you during your recovery. Injury narrows your world. Gratitude reminds you that you’re more than your sport and that meaningful parts of your life still exist. Gratitude also reduces stress, builds resilience, and improves sleep.
I don't want to ask for help. I don't want to be a burden.
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“I don’t want to ask for help.”
“I will handle this on my own.”
Does this sound familiar?
Are you proudly independent? You’ve trained yourself to push through discomfort, solve your own problems, and rely on no one but yourself. Maybe vulnerability feels like weakness.
Sadness is embarrassing. Despair feels indulgent. And asking for help? That threatens the self-sufficient image you’ve built.
Your friends have their own lives, families, obligations. Why should they have to give you a ride, bring a meal, or sit with you while you struggle?
So you tell yourself you’ll deal with it alone. Just like you power through a brutal race, you’ll grind through this injury independently. Because that’s who you are.
Reaching out for support is essential to your healing process. Asking for help does not mean you are weak. You don't have to go through this alone.
When you ask for and accept help, you maintain the bond that may otherwise fade. Remember that when someone offers you help and you decline, they are not likely to offer again. It’s just human nature to not seek out a rejection. When you accept help you strengthen bonds, which ultimately become even more gratifying when your friend someday asks for help in return.
If you have a strong support system, everyone can do a little something to help and no one person will become over-burdened.
After my injury and multiple surgeries, I struggled with asking for and accepting help. My friend Linda noticed this and decided to intervene.
“Heidi, when your friends need you, you jump at the opportunity to help them. It brings you joy,” Linda said.
I nodded in agreement.
“Well, don’t you realize that when you need help but don’t ask for it, or when you refuse offers, you’re denying your friends the joy of supporting you? Don’t steal their joy.”
Her words hit home. She helped me see that asking for help isn't just about me, it's about allowing others to experience the joy of helping.
Practical exercises
- Communicate your needs and advocate for yourself, even though it can seem hard. Let your coaches and teammates know how they can support you during your recovery.
- Ask for help. You don't have to go through this alone. Reaching out for support is essential to your healing process. Remember, others find joy in helping. Don't deny them that.
- Make a help list. Create a list of people who enjoy serving others and a list of tasks you need help with (chores, errands, etc.). The next time someone offers help, let them.
- Reframe asking for help as a strength. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It means you’re serious about getting better. You wouldn’t refuse a coach, a training partner, or a spotter. Let people show up for you now.
What if I can't return to my sport?
Your workouts push you, and you love it. You love testing your training, your strength, your mental fortitude, and your emotional resilience. Your sport challenges you in all the right ways. It’s your social outlet, your community. It’s gritty. Sometimes it’s painful. You love it and you live for it.
The mere thought of not returning to your sport makes you want to crawl into the nearest laundry basket, pull a blanket over your head, and disappear.
Of course the thought of not returning to your sport feels unbearable. It’s where you’ve felt most alive.
It’s where you’ve proven to yourself that you can do hard things. It’s where you’ve built confidence, grit, and belief in your own capacity. It gives structure to your days and rewards your effort.
When injury threatens that, you’re losing more than just an activity. It can feel like you're losing your identity. Community. Competence. Control. No wonder your nervous system reacts like something catastrophic is happening. In many ways, it is. A version of your life is being disrupted.
But here's what matters: Your sport didn’t create those qualities. It revealed them. The discipline. The toughness. The willingness to suffer for something meaningful. Those traits still exist in you. They don’t disappear just because your training and competition does. They are not dependent on a start or finish line, a hard workout, or winning a game.
Injury doesn’t erase who you are as an athlete. It challenges you to express those same strengths in a new way.
This season may not look like intervals, hill repeats, or race/game day nerves. It may look like patience. Restraint. Emotional endurance. Trust.
And make no mistake...that’s hard training, too. But, everything you need to get through it is already inside of you.
Practical exercises
- Make a list of 10 things you are without using any physical descriptors. Choose a mix of nouns and adjectives that reflect your character, values, and strengths. Post the list somewhere you’ll see it often.
- If you’d like a more creative approach, gather some acrylic paints, brushes, canvases (11 x 14 or 11 x 17 work well), and a friend. On separate canvases, paint words that capture each other’s strengths and positive qualities. Share a meal while the paint dries, then exchange the canvases. You’ll each leave with a visual reminder of who you are beyond your injury and beyond your sport.
- Grow something. Go put your hands in dirt. Even if all you can manage is a small pot of herbs in your kitchen, touching dirt will reconnect and ground you to the earth and ameliorate worry.
I rely on my sport to manage stress.
You used to cope with stress by putting in your earbuds and going for a long, hard run. Or maybe practice with your team was your escape. Working out was a trusted friend. A space to clear your mind, release frustration, and just be in the moment. It doesn’t talk when you’d rather just enjoy silence.
Then one day, it’s gone. Training as you know it disappears, and a walk around the block with your dog doesn’t seem nearly as therapeutic as a hard run. You finish the walk more frustrated than when you started. You have no reliable (or perhaps legal) means of coping with stress. Your short fuse seems to be getting shorter and shorter with no hope in sight.
I define suffering as the inability to accept what is. The longer you resist your current limitations, the more frustration and angst you create for yourself.
Since moving the way you’re used to isn’t an option right now, focus on what is possible. Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t. There is always something you can do. In order to see the options you have to be open to them.
Learning new activities during injury recovery may feel awkward, akin to a "gangly teenage phase." Approach learning new activities and movements with a sense of adventure and curiosity instead of self-judgment.
It’s crucial to collaborate with a trusted physical therapist who can guide you safely. Ideally, look for someone certified as an Orthopedic Clinical Specialist (OCS) or Sports Clinical Specialist (SCS). They can honor your limitations while helping you explore new ways to move.
An unexpected gift of injury is the opportunity to identify and address weaknesses that may have been overlooked while you were training for your sport. A shoulder injury might highlight lack hip strength, or a back issue could reveal imbalances in your core. Use this time to rebuild, strengthen weak areas, and come back more resilient than before.
Practical exercises
- Find something you CAN do (and enjoy doing). Injury may be an impetus to find a new hobby. (For me it was photography.) Why spend energy looking into darkness when you can look at possibility and light?
- Write thank you notes. They ground you. They make you think of the have’s instead of the have not’s…the can’s instead of the cannot’s. They reaffirm your relationships and connections. Everyone loves to receive a thank you note amongst a stack of junkmail.
- Set a timer for 5 minutes and brainstorm creative hobbies or activities you've always wanted to explore or learn.
- Creativity may be one of your most powerful recovery tools. The more you use it, the more it will carry you forward in your healing. I want to empower you to take ownership of your healing rather than passively waiting for physical improvement. Take advantage of this opportunity to strengthen your mental resilience.
- Obsessive thoughts? They practically vanish when your focus shifts, whether it’s framing the perfect shot of your furry friend or capturing a stunning sunset. Bonus: creativity can act like an “eject button” for pain, giving your mind a break while helping you grow.
I’m frustrated by how long this is taking.
No matter how quickly your recovery is moving, it never feels fast enough.
You’re doing everything right. You haven’t skipped a single physical therapy session.You’re following your restrictions to the letter. You’re sleeping, fueling, and doing all the right things to take care of yourself mentally. And still the question looms: “Why is this taking so long?”
You’re so tired of being patient. Every time you think you’re turning a corner, something flares up and reminds you that you’re not in control.
I remember sitting on the bike at physical therapy at the Steadman Clinic, talking to the woman next to me. She had torn every ligament in her knee and was already planning her next climbing adventure. I was still on crutches.
“Other people recover faster. What’s wrong with me?” I asked myself that question over and over.
You miss your old body, the one that felt strong and resilient. Now your body feels foreign and fragile.
You ruminate. “How much longer is this going to take?” “What if I never come back the same?”
“What if all the progress I worked so hard for is slipping away?”
You are not just losing time; you’re losing your identity and your confidence.
The truth is your body is going to take as long as it needs to get better.
Healing doesn’t respond to hustle or sheer willpower. You can’t outwork tissue physiology.
Your recovery is influenced by variables you often can’t see or measure. The severity of the injury, your innate physiology, your immune system, your stress levels, your sleep, your beliefs, your fear, and your past injuries–among many things–influence your recovery.
Your desperation for your recovery to move faster often makes the process feel slower. When your nervous system is in a constant state of urgency, your body feels that pressure.
Patience is not a noun; it’s a verb. It’s choosing, over and over again, to work with your body and mind instead of fighting them.
Healing is happening even when you can’t perceive it, and even when it’s frustrating. Your job isn’t to rush things. It’s to stay in the game and keep moving forward, tiny step by tiny step.
Tiny steps accumulate into bigger steps forward.
Also remember: When you compare your recovery timeline to someone else’s, you’re comparing a visible outcome, not invisible variables.
Practical exercises
Find injury-friendly ways to move. Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t. There is always something you can do.
Learning new ways to move during injury recovery may feel awkward. Approach learning with curiosity and a sense of adventure instead of self-judgment. Experimenting with new ways to move can open doors you didn’t know existed.
I can’t tell you how many happy cyclists used to be runners.
It’s crucial to collaborate with a trusted physical therapist who can guide you safely. Ideally, look for someone certified as an Orthopedic Clinical Specialist (OCS) or Sports Clinical Specialist (SCS). They can honor your limitations while helping you explore new ways to move.
One unexpected gift of injury is the chance to uncover and strengthen weaknesses that were previously overlooked. Your physical therapist can help you target these areas now, so when you return to your sport, you’ll come back stronger and more resilient than before.
Set goals beyond your injury recovery for things that will give you a sense of accomplishment and progress. Maybe it’s tackling a closet so stuffed you have to shove things back just to open the door. Or, like me, you set a goal to do pull-ups again. Even with a knee injury, my upper body was strong, so I used the opportunity to make it even stronger. Small wins like these can keep you moving forward, mentally and physically, while your body heals.
Progress canvas
Get a large posterboard, foam board, or canvas for this. I prefer a canvas because you’ll want to keep what you create as a lasting reminder of your strength.
It’s easy to overlook all the small steps you take every day to get better, like completing your physical therapy, taking a few minutes to meditate, or even something challenging like naming your emotions.
Using a Sharpie or paint pen, write down each action you take to support your recovery, along with the date. Cover the canvas with everything you do to help yourself heal.
Seeing every step you take all in one place, on a wall in your home, makes your progress visible. It reminds you of your effort, builds a sense of accomplishment, and reinforces the agency you have in your own recovery.
READ NEXT
Common recipes for success
During my research, I discovered how a subset of athletes transformed injury into resilience. These are their common recipes for success.
ONLINE COURSE
Overcoming Injury
You don't have to suffer in silence. Get practical support to help you overcome the mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and physical fallout of injury.
- Learn simple, evidence-based strategies to manage stress, calm mental spirals, and uncertainty.
- Understand how injury impacts your emotions, motivation, and identity.
- Hear honest stories and encouragement from other injured athletes
1-on-1 coaching
You don’t have to recover alone.
Find the right healthcare team | Navigate insurance | Find activities that feel as good at your sport | Talk to another injured athlete who gets it